margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
