She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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