; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
