i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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