you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
