I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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