Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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