I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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