i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you traded sex for a burrito?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
