I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Drake has all the answers
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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