We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i came on her dog
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
