i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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