i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize