Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
