i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
