question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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