I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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