Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
