At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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