Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
