So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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