Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just had sex bonerless
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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