so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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