I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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