it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
