I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
