Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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