Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
