As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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