i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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