he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
