he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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