There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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