But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
