Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
