You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
