don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do vagina's smell?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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