you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
