What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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