covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
