We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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