Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
