Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
