So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Success! We fucked roommates!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
