I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
