Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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