Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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