i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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