someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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