Nicole vs. Life
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
