Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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