Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
