we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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