Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
