forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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