It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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