Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
