The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
