the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
