By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
